"Why don’t you kick out of this? Why don’t you find somebody with some self-respect who means something to you, and go off and be happy? Some people may admire you for all this giving up your soul and allowing it to be spit on, but I don’t."
"Sometimes I feel like if you just watch things, just sit still and let the world exist in front of you - sometimes I swear that just for a second time freezes and the world pauses in its tilt. Just for a second. And if you somehow found a way to live in that second, then you would live forever."
"If they ask you about me, tell them “She was the only girl who loved me with honesty, and I broke her.”"
Pretending to be neutral is a joke.
A shout into the void
I feel as if there’s a weight that’s pressing down on me right now. I haven’t felt this tired and lonely in awhile. I thought coming back to school would feel good, but I feel lonelier than I did when I actually was alone. The only three people I have to talk to about this are people I’m growing further and further apart from. It’s unnerving to see people growing up, while also growing apart at the same time. It’s the worst feeling comparing how close people once were to the relatively stranger like situation that can ultimately result. I hate letting the past destroy my present.
My mind is never quiet anymore; it keeps reeling and working through various scenarios on a constant loop. I just want everything to get better. Moving forward, or should I say “attempting to,” is a lot more difficult than I had thought it would be. I hate feeling weak and helpless when I all want is to be the possible version of myself. I thought I had changed for the better, but maybe it was for the worst. Or maybe I’m exactly who I’ve always been.
My exact words 20 minutes before were, “I’ve never been in a car accident, knock on wood.” Unfortunate that I didn’t have any wood to knock on. It would appear that I’m not nearly as invincible as I had previously thought.
"to all those lost souls who have forgotten to believe in the immensity of love…"
Love is not, nor will it ever be, overrated.